Another Turtle....on a Post!?

Yesterday I came across another article documenting the apparent gradual demise of marriage. I find this stuff both interesting and ironic. When I read something like this--and please believe me when I say that I don't doubt it's accuracy at all--I am reminded of the "turtle on a post" phenomenon.

Humor me. Just suppose for a minute that you are out in a field some bright and shiny morning having fun. You're getting your morning walk in the open air...just hiking along. Suddenly, you spy this very curious site, and you hardly believe your eyes: Yup, IT'S A TURTLE RIGHT THERE, BIG AS LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU, SITTING ON TOP OF A FENCE POST!

Sure, you're understandably surprised. It's sitting there curiously staring at you and you're returning it's startled gaze right back. You think to yourself, and maybe you even express your thoughts out loud in the turtle's hearing, "Hey little turtle gal, what on earth are you doing setting here on this post? How on earth did you get here?" Of course you don't expect the turtle to answer you back.

But, if she does, and she opens her little mouth to speak...she tells you she's been training for this exercise for many months. She reports how she's been training and practicing by climbing rocks and graduating to progressively higher and more difficult outcroppings to develop her technical climbing skill and confidence toward this, her ultimate challenge. Today, this morning, was THE big event--the opportunity to face and embrace her destiny...climb this post. And as you can obviously see, SHE WAS SUCCESSFUL!!!

So, if she does open her little turtle mouth to speak...DON'T BELIEVE THE TURTLE (but do help her gently down), because turtles don't climb posts. PEOPLE PUT TURTLES ON POSTS.

So what's the problem in reporting how 40% of a large sample of Americans think marriage is obsolete? Actually nothing. There's no problem in the reporting...none at all. But there is a problem in the interpretation of that information; in the interpretation of that data. So, what should we conclude from it?

Consider this example:
If I were to tell you that our society is in a war with fat; that 40% of the American population is overweight and many in that percentage are actually obese. Then I also told you that medical technology offers amazingly effective means for removing or controlling body fat, and that these methods make the need for dieting obsolete...what would you think? What would you say to me?

Would you say something like, "Wow, it appears we've got a really sick society, one that has forgotten how to eat properly, that fails to discipline itself, and one that often actually looks for excuses to be indulgent?

Of course, yes, that's exactly how you should respond if you are really THINKING--exactly what you should say back to me. Any other explanation flies indulgently in the face of our personal, family, and societal health. It SHOULD be obvious to just about everybody that any other kind of reasoning is just plain wrong..."The Turtle Climbed this Fence Post!" Not!

The Bible clearly tells us about Satan, that he is a liar, a deceiver, and a destroyer (Rev. 12:9; IICor.11:3). Most major societies have historically risen or eventually deteriorated on the strength of their truth-telling and character. In this situation, the idea of marriage being obsolete, or not, is of course not really about marriage per se or at all. The issue is really one that's about angry rebelliousness and sensual indulgence . It's all about finding license for convenient passions and self-gratification without accountability (Romans 1:18-32).

So if and when you read or hear discussion like this about marriage...pleeeez remember the turtle!

Wedding Fun....Seasoned with Sillyness and Life!

Ha ha. Judi and I attended a fun and wonder-filled wedding yesterday near Civic Center Park in Denver. Weddings are always celebrations of new relationships; celebrations of hope filled with the anticipation of shared life adventures to come. I always enjoy them. Of course this one was no exception, and it added a new twist for us all in that the bride's family commissioned one of those fun photography booths. You know the situation where you walk-in, draw the curtain behind you, plan your poses, and then "face the camera to start posing after you press the button." It was a hoot! We went back in there several times and, yup, you guessed it, we had fun making fools of ourselves.

I find it really fun when I get to attend the wedding of friends (or in this case our friends' daughter)--I get to meet and greet some of their family members. Usually these are the people my friend grew up with or around--these are the people b-e-h-i-n-d the person I know. Yaah; yes in deedee. So, these events tend to help "fill-in-the-blanks," or discover some new ones. Again, there were no exceptions here. It appeared to me that everyone had a great time.

But weddings are not what they used to be for me. It's probably because of my familiarity with contemporary marital research, dating behavior, and people in general. I'm often momentarily distracted by the question, "How do these two really know that what they are doing here today is in their best interests?"

In my work with pre-marital couples I routinely include and we discuss the statement, "Nobody ever gets married to be miserable for the rest of his or her life!" But as we all know that truth doesn't prevent the relationships reflected in our nation's divorce rate from hovering painfully the 40-50% level. (There's just so much about dating and courtship, and about relationship development in general, that's increasingly counter-intuitive.) So, lest I become a pessimistic bore, when that thought predictably marches through my mental space, I catch it! Right then and there I make a heart-felt promise to myself and my friends that I'll support them through the inevitable surprises life will bring. It's the very least I can do--or that we can do for one another!

But this wedding experience offered Judi and I an added bonus! We spotted some old friends we've not seen since our early Denver days at Galilee Baptist Church. Of course some of you may remember that's the church family that brought us to Denver and the University of Denver (1980) in the first place. Wow, it was so refreshing to see them and to spend those few hours catching up. God is good to us...all the time!

So, what's all this got to do with "Wood?" I guess you'll find out if you read me often. Leave a comment or something....and just maybe I can entice you to subscribe, too?


Dick